enough said...

Why is happiness such a hard concept for me to grasp? I want nothing more then to be able to say if I died tomorrow I lived my life to the fullest and am happy where I am at. I have this amazing family, great friends, and a wonderful life. Why can't I sit back and appreciate the things I have accomplished? I have all these wonderful things, a stable job, a house, and car I have basically paid off--why am I not satisfied? Is it that I go home and feel emptiness the minute I pull in the driveway. You see, I am not one to cling onto someone because I am scared of loneliness.. I have mastered the art of being alone, but now, now it's just getting old. I want to find someone that makes me want to come home, and I miss before I leave. I want someone I can watch bad movies with and shares my love of the small things, like new sheets and candles that smell like cookies. Just doesn't seem fair sometimes, but ahh I do this to myself. I want to bad to be able to open my heart and love again, but when I get close to someone I shut down. Not sure exactly why. It's not fear of being hurt because I know everyone is going to hurt me. I feel like I am starting over all over again.  Someone wake me up when my life has started please, none of this rewinding shiz either!


This beauty here, is my niece. This has nothing to
 do with the post but I must say, she is
B-E-A-U-Tiful! I can't wait to
 meet her <3



Stupid Is, Stupid Does Ma'am

I could feel really dumb right about now. Funny thing is that I don't in the least. He told me he loved me and that he would never leave. He told dreams he had about me and how he always wanted to be with me. So do I feel stupid for believeing him? No, not at all. He should feel like the dumb one. He should feel ashamed of himself for being eveything he said he would never be. Such a coward, you are. I could be angry at you, but I'm not. I should be. I don't know why, but I can't be mad. Maybe because I know all too well how you feel. It is hard to let go of something so comfortable. All I asked was that you were honest and you couldn't even do that much. You preach Semper Fi, but can't live it. I hope one day you open your eyes and realize how deep you cut by saying nothing at all.

I don't have nothing to regret at all in the past,

except that I might've unintentionally hurt somebody

else or something.

--Jimi Hendrix

the summer sends it's love to you

And think of me tonight
when everyone leaves and you're alone,
Think of me tonight,
I'm counting the days until you come home.

The summer sends its love to you,
the same as every year.
But this year I will send mine too,
and wish that you were here.



jammin' out to a band i just discovered--this band
will be my everyday tunes this summer on the way to work



twenty-four eight baby!

I am exhausted. I feel like I work eight days a week. Sometimes I feel like it's worth it cause I make bank, then others I feel like Red Lobster is consuming my life. Sure, money is great, get my car paid off, buy some new furniture and clothes, but am I compromising my mental stablility and physical well being for "stuff?"  I am just at a loss as what to do with my life. I don't know what I want anymore. I wish I had the drive of some of this people I go to school with, but I just don't. What is wrong with me? Spring break is this next week, thank God. I think I would die if I didn't get a break of some sort. Gah, I wish Danny were home. I miss him. He made everything okay. He made me happy.

 I am very tired." "Well," said the tree, straightening herself up as much
 as she could, "well, an old stump is good for sitting and resting. Come, Boy,
 sit down. Sit down and rest." And the boy did. And the tree was happy.

tennyson's got game, just sayin'

"Half the night I waste in sighs,
Half in dreams I sorrow after
The delight of early skies;
In a wakeful dose I sorrow
For the hand, the lips, the eyes,
For the meeting of the morrow,
The delight of happy laughter,
The delight of low replies."
— Alfred Lord Tennyson

There is something about the beach I love. I am not sure if it is
the warmth of the sand or the endless sound of the ocean against
the shore. Maybe it is size of the ocean in comparison to me. It
makes me realize how small I am and how the things I think I do that
are morally wrong or a mistake in general aren't that horrible in the
 grand scheme. I am but a particle in society, and in all honesty, I think
 I am ok with that.

Oorah! ;]

Alright, just so you all know, my Marine and Myself aren't "official" or anything. We believe that titles are just something used to show relation between two people. I like him, he likes me, end of story. If you ask me about it though, yes he is my boyfriend, I only say this because if I don't, it causes confusion. People think I am crazy, seeing as how we talked for about a week before he left for six months to Washington state. See, I have known him since high school, but never really spoke to him. I am so glad I met him when I did though. He gives me something to look forward to and a reason to be happy again. As crazy as this sounds, I think we are going to last. He is the ideal man in my mind. I could never have asked for more. He is actually more of a man then I thought I would ever get. Funny thing is that he thought I was out of his league?! Crazy, right? I never thought someone could want me so much and be willing to wait six months for me. I have never felt this way about anyone. He is so worth my time, energy, and emotions. I feel so lucky to have him. I wish he would come home, right now. His arms feel like home to me.

Genesis 29:20
So Jacob worked seven years to pay for Rachel.
But his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days.

Before I Hulk Out On Someone's Ass :]

I am new to the blogging world. I am not sure how to start. Wow, this really sucks. If I were you I would stop reading right.. now! Ok....rightttt...now!! Still there? Humph..alrighty then. You made the cut- you deserve to read what I have to say. Ha! Who am I kidding. All my blogs will be is a bunch of my rambles about senseless stuff that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. In all actuality though, there are very few things that matter in the grand scheme. I guess this is what this blog is about though, the things that matter, at least to me. If you have a problem with anything I say, there is a small red ''x'' in the top right hand corner, click it. :] Welp, I'm falling asleep. I should have another post up either tomorrow or the next day, I know you all will be eagerly waiting.



This is what I look like when I hulk out on someone's ass, just sayin'