enough said...

Why is happiness such a hard concept for me to grasp? I want nothing more then to be able to say if I died tomorrow I lived my life to the fullest and am happy where I am at. I have this amazing family, great friends, and a wonderful life. Why can't I sit back and appreciate the things I have accomplished? I have all these wonderful things, a stable job, a house, and car I have basically paid off--why am I not satisfied? Is it that I go home and feel emptiness the minute I pull in the driveway. You see, I am not one to cling onto someone because I am scared of loneliness.. I have mastered the art of being alone, but now, now it's just getting old. I want to find someone that makes me want to come home, and I miss before I leave. I want someone I can watch bad movies with and shares my love of the small things, like new sheets and candles that smell like cookies. Just doesn't seem fair sometimes, but ahh I do this to myself. I want to bad to be able to open my heart and love again, but when I get close to someone I shut down. Not sure exactly why. It's not fear of being hurt because I know everyone is going to hurt me. I feel like I am starting over all over again.  Someone wake me up when my life has started please, none of this rewinding shiz either!


This beauty here, is my niece. This has nothing to
 do with the post but I must say, she is
B-E-A-U-Tiful! I can't wait to
 meet her <3